Episode 15: Suspended. Offended. Defended.
Okay okay, picture this. You wake up, grab your morning coffee, check your Google Business Profile and… it’s GONE. Vanished. Poof! Like your business just got snapped by Thanos.
Oof, that’s literally every business owner’s nightmare! Like showing up to work and finding out your store just… doesn’t exist anymore. At least not on Google.
Right?! And the worst part? Google’s sitting there like a poker player who won’t show their cards. They’re just like, “You violated… something. Figure it out.”
It’s like being sent to detention but nobody tells you what you did wrong! Was it the gum chewing? The note passing? WHO KNOWS?!
Welcome back to Rise & Rank with RankPast, Google Business Profile edition—where we turn Google’s mysteries into your victories. I’m Kai, your slightly paranoid guide through the dark forest of suspensions…
And I’m Aileen, here to remind everyone that getting suspended doesn’t mean game over—it just means we need to level up our strategy! Plus, I brought tissues for the inevitable tears.
Today we’re diving deep into the world of Google Business Profile suspensions. The different types, why they happen, and most importantly—how to escape from Google jail without digging a tunnel with a spoon.
Oooooh… that’s very Shawshank Redemption of you! But seriously, this episode could save your business. Because when your GBP goes down, so does your phone ringing, foot traffic, and basically your entire local presence.
It’s like being invisible, but not in a cool superhero way. More like in a “my business doesn’t exist” way.
So let’s start with the penalty spectrum, because not all Google punishments are created equal. Some are like a slap on the wrist, others are like… well…
Like being launched into the sun? Yeah, let’s break it down. First up, we’ve got “Unverified”—that’s when your listing exists but you can’t touch it.
It’s like having your car keys taken away. The car’s still in the driveway, everyone can see it, but you ain’t driving anywhere!
Exactly! Then there’s the “Disabled” or “Soft Suspension.” Your listing’s still visible to customers, but you’re locked out of managing it.
Oh, that’s frustrating! Like being grounded but still having to go to school. Everyone can see you, but you can’t do anything fun.
And you can’t respond to reviews! So if someone leaves a one-star review saying “This place smells like wet socks,” you just have to sit there and take it.
The horror! Okay, what about the scary one?
Ah yes, the “Hard Suspension”—when Google just straight-up deletes you from existence. Your listing? Gone. Your reviews? Possibly gone forever. Your will to live? Definitely being tested.
That’s like being expelled from school AND having your permanent record follow you everywhere! But wait, it gets worse?
Oh yeah! Account suspension—that’s when Google doesn’t just hate your business, they hate YOU. Every listing associated with your account gets nuked.
Yikes! That’s like… that’s like getting your entire family banned from Disney World because you tried to sneak in a sandwich!
Perfect analogy! And then there’s this weird one—”Content Restrictions”—where your profile works but specific stuff gets rejected. Like, you can’t update your hours or post that photo of your new sign.
That’s oddly specific. Like being allowed in the pool but not being allowed to get your hair wet.
Now, let’s talk about WHY Google drops the hammer. And honestly? Sometimes it’s for the dumbest reasons.
Ooh, story time! Tell me about the pizza places!
Okay, so Tony’s Pizza—great guy, makes amazing calzones—he updates his business name to “Tony’s Pizza – Best Pizza in Brooklyn 24/7 Delivery.” BOOM! Suspended.
Wait, for adding descriptions to his name? That’s like getting arrested for jaywalking!
Right? And Maria’s Pizzeria uploaded 47 photos in one day because she was excited about her renovation. Google’s spam sensors went DEFCON 1. Also suspended!
47 photos?? I mean, I get excited about renovations too, but pace yourself, Maria!
The thing is, Google’s like a really paranoid security system. Make too many changes too fast, and it thinks you’re up to something sketchy.
Even if you’re just trying to make your profile better! It’s like those automatic doors that won’t open if you walk up too fast.
Exactly! And here’s the kicker—sometimes Google TELLS you to complete your profile, add services, upload photos…
Oh no… I can see where this is going…
You do everything they ask, all in one day because you’re a go-getter, and BAM! Suspended for suspicious activity!
That’s entrapment! It’s like your mom telling you to clean your room, then grounding you for moving furniture too loudly!
And don’t even get me started on virtual offices. If you’re using a WeWork or Regus address…
Let me guess—it better be staffed by YOUR people during YOUR business hours?
Bingo! Otherwise, Google considers it faker than a three-dollar bill. I knew a consultant who got suspended because the virtual office receptionist didn’t know who he was.
Ouch! That’s like failing a test because the teacher doesn’t recognize your handwriting.
Now, some businesses are just born under a suspicious star. Locksmiths, plumbers, HVAC companies, lawyers…
Why them specifically?
History of spam in those industries. So Google watches them like a hawk watches a mouse. One wrong move and SWOOOP!
That’s profiling! My uncle’s a locksmith and he’s the most honest guy ever!
I’m sure he is! But he still needs to be extra careful. It’s like driving a sports car—you’re more likely to get pulled over even if you’re going the speed limit.
So unfair. Okay… so what happens when the worst happens? How do we fix this mess?
Alright, recovery mode! First, you need evidence. And I mean EVIDENCE. Like you’re preparing for the world’s most important court case.
What kind of evidence are we talking?
Business license, registration docs, tax certificates, utility bills—electric, water, internet, phone, cable…
Basically every piece of paper that proves you exist?
Plus photos! Storefront with permanent signage, interior shots, branded vehicles, team photos, you in your business doing business things…
So essentially become a one-person documentary crew?
Pretty much! But here’s the catch—and this is CRUCIAL—once you open that evidence upload form, you have exactly 60 minutes to submit everything.
WHAT?! 60 minutes?! That’s like… that’s like Supermarket Sweep but for business documents!
I KNOW! It’s insane! So you better have everything ready to go BEFORE you click that button. Name your files clearly, have them all in one folder, maybe do some stretches…
You’re gonna be stress-clicking for an hour straight! You need to be limber!
Haha! Okay, what about this video verification I keep hearing about?
Oh boy, video verification. It’s like directing your own business documentary, except you only get one take and it better be Oscar-worthy.
OK, No pressure… So, what do you have to show?
For storefronts, you need to show the street view, your permanent signage, then go inside and prove you belong there. Open the cash register, go in the kitchen, access the employee areas…
So basically prove you’re not just some random person who wandered in off the street?
Exactly! And for service area businesses, it’s even weirder. You need to film yourself in your service area with branded stuff—your van, your uniform, your tools…
Like a very boring episode of “This Is Your Life”?
Yes! And you CAN’T pre-record it. Has to be done live in the app, minimum 30 seconds, no edits, no cuts, no artistic filters…
So my plan to add dramatic music and slow-motion effects is out?
Save it for TikTok! This is serious business documentation!
Got it. So after you submit all this, then what? Google immediately fixes everything?
HAH! Oh, sweet summer child. No, then you enter what I call the “Google Time Zone” where days feel like weeks and weeks feel like years.
How long are we talking?
They say 3 to 5 business days for appeals, but I’ve seen it take weeks. WEEKS, Eileen!
That’s like waiting for your crush to text back, but your entire business depends on it!
And after three weeks of silence, THEN you can escalate. Hit up @GoogleMyBiz on Twitter or Facebook…
Social media shaming! Classic!
But you gotta be professional about it. Include your case number, your dashboard link, be polite but firm…
Hey Google, remember me? The business you destroyed? Just checking in! Smiley face emoji!
Maybe without the smiley face. And definitely without the passive-aggressive energy, even though you’re definitely feeling it.
What if you’re in Europe? I heard they have different rules?
Oh yeah! If you’re in the EEA, you actually get MORE appeal options. It’s like having a VIP pass to the appeals process.
Americans are jealous right now.
We really are. Everyone else has to go through support for certain appeals, but EEA folks can do it all through the tool.
Okay, so let’s talk prevention. How do we avoid this whole mess in the first place?
First rule: Make changes S-L-O-W-L-Y. Like, glacially slow. Like, DMV-line slow.
How slow are we talking?
Monday, update your hours. Wednesday, add a couple photos. Friday, maybe tweak your description. Following week, add some services…
So basically treat your GBP like a very skittish cat? No sudden movements?
EXACTLY! And if Google prompts you to complete your profile? That’s not a race! That’s a trap!
It’s like when someone says “We need to talk” – nothing good comes from rushing into that!
Also, keep your NAP consistent EVERYWHERE. Your website, your business cards, that random directory from 2015 you forgot about…
Even your mom’s Facebook posts about your business?
ESPECIALLY your mom’s Facebook posts! Google sees everything!
Big Brother is watching… and judging your inconsistent business information.
Let me tell you about Sarah’s Salon. Perfect recovery story. She got hard suspended—the whole shebang, listing gone, reviews vanished…
Oh no! What did she do?
Virtual office violation. But here’s how she recovered: Week one, documented everything. Screenshots, photos, the works. Fixed the address issue by switching to a home address as a service area business.
Smart!! Then what?
Week two, submitted her appeal with 15 documents. FIFTEEN! Plus a video verification showing her actually cutting hair. Week three… reinstated!
YES! Happy ending!
Well… she lost 40% of her reviews permanently.
Oh. Less happy ending.
But! She started a review recovery campaign and six months later, she’s stronger than ever. Sometimes you gotta take the L and come back swinging.
That’s actually inspiring! Like a business phoenix rising from the digital ashes!
Now, before we wrap up, let’s talk about the emotional side of this. Because getting suspended is ROUGH.
It really is! Your whole online presence just… disappears. The phone stops ringing, customers can’t find you…
It’s like your business is in witness protection, except you didn’t ask for it and you’re not being protected from anything!
The stress must be unreal.
Which is why preparation is key. Document everything NOW. Take screenshots of your current profile, save your reviews, keep those business documents handy…
It’s like insurance, but for your digital existence!
Because here’s the thing—Google isn’t evil. They’re just… really, really paranoid. They’re trying to protect users from spam and scams.
But sometimes legitimate businesses get caught in the crossfire.
Exactly. So we play by their rules, document everything, and when things go wrong—which they might—we’re ready.
With our 60-minute evidence training complete!
Ha!, yes! Look, getting suspended sucks. But it’s not the end of the world. I’ve seen businesses come back from hard suspensions stronger than ever.
Because they learned what triggered it and never made that mistake again?
Exactly. It’s like touching a hot stove… painful, but educational!
Okay, let’s recap the survival guide for our listeners:
One: Know your penalty type. Soft suspension? Annoying but survivable. Hard suspension? Prepare for battle.
Two: Understand the triggers. Keyword stuffing, virtual offices, rapid changes—all red flags!
Three: Document everything BEFORE you need it. Business license, utility bills, photos—have them ready.
Four: That 60-minute evidence window is REAL. Don’t start your appeal until you’re completely ready!
Five: Video verification needs to be perfect. One shot, no edits, show everything they want to see.
Six: Prevention is way easier than recovery. Make changes slowly, keep everything consistent, don’t get cute with your business name.
And seven: If you do get suspended, don’t panic. Follow the process, be patient, and remember—even Google makes mistakes.
They do?
Oh yeah! I’ve seen completely legitimate businesses get suspended for no reason. Sometimes the algorithm just has a bad day.
Like when my phone autocorrects “duck” to… you know.
Exactly! Except instead of an embarrassing text, it’s your entire business disappearing!
Well, that’s terrifying but oddly comforting? Like, it’s not always your fault?
Right! Sometimes you do everything right and still get suspended. That’s why we prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
Like a digital Boy Scout motto!
Always be prepared… with properly named PDF files!
Alright folks, if your business is currently suspended, take a deep breath. You’ve got this. Follow the steps, gather your evidence, and fight for your digital existence!
And if you’re not suspended? Start preparing now! Because in the world of Google Business Profiles, it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you!
KAI! That’s not helping!
Sorry, sorry. What I meant to say is: Google wants legitimate businesses to succeed. Sometimes they’re just… aggressively protective about it.
Better! Remember, your GBP is your digital storefront. Treat it with respect, make changes carefully, and always—ALWAYS—keep your documentation ready.
Because it’s better to be safe than suspended!
If you found this episode helpful—or at least therapeutic—head over to rankpast.com/gbp for our complete suspension recovery checklist and emergency documentation templates.
And hey, leave us a review! Unless we get suspended for having too many positive reviews…
KAI! Stop scaring people!
Right, right. We’ll be fine. Probably. Most likely. I mean, what are the chances…
ANYWAY! This has been Rise & Rank with RankPast. Keep your profiles clean, your evidence ready, and your spirit unbreakable!
Until next time—stay verified, stay visible, and stay out of Google jail!
Peace out, profile protectors!
Thanks for tuning into Rise & Rank with RankPast – GBP Edition. This concludes our Google Business Profile training! If you missed an episode, or need a ree fresh, head to rank past dot com for full episodes, new podcast editions and resources.
